My Story
For as long as I can remember my weight and body issues have always been issues. Even at a young age, it was something that always bothered me. I remember being in seventh grade and ALWAYS wearing a sweater over my uniform because they required us to tuck in our shirts and I couldn’t deal with how uncomfortable I felt in my own skin. Looking back now, I can’t wrap my head around how that could even be an issue in a thirteen year olds life. But it was.
When I got in to high school, well summer before freshman year, I became obsessed with wanting to be thin so I would run every day which got me pretty slim for a while. I thought that it would make me happy and it did but of course like most crash diets I rebounded. Shortly after I ended up getting really in to p90x, which then led to me getting a gym membership, but I was still in the obsessive mindset of wanting to be thin. I would restrict my eating because 1200 was the number the media kept throwing at us. Over training and restrictive eating got me to my lightest weight but even then I felt just as uncomfortable in my skin as I did when I was 13.
I began to feel uncomfortable wearing shorts to the gym and one day I just decided that I had had enough. I didn’t want skinny legs. I wanted muscle. I didn’t want to be frail and weak I wanted strength. I wanted to find balance in my life. So I stopped worrying about what I ate and started lifting heavy focusing solely on strength gaining. Of course after restricting for so long my body was craving ALL THE FOODS and I fed my body ALL THE FOODS. This led to some weight gain for a good while but I didn’t care, I was finally gaining some strength. It was then that I fell in love with heavy lifting and although my body wasn’t where I wanted it to be the confidence and the strength I was gaining was unbelievable.There is just something that changes or clicks in your mind when you’re able to dead lift 200+ lbs off the floor, its like nothing else matters. You realize that you are capable of so much more and you are more than your weight. 
After two years of indulging I finally decided I wanted to start taking care of my body, nutrition wise, and decided to make the switch to IIFYM. I contacted the lovely Emilia Hogan, she does custom macro programs and a training programs, so she could calculate my macros and get me on the right track to lean down. Its been 4 months since I’ve been her flexible dieting macro program and I finally feel like I’ve found balance. I've never felt stronger, faster and at peace with myself. I no longer restrict myself or look at foods as a negative thing. I am able to eat the foods I love and enjoy without guilt.
Deciding that I wanted to be a strong and powerful force to be reckoned with was the best decision I ever made. My body isn’t something that is supposed to “look good” to please other people. My body is mine. My body is strong. My body is fast. My body is capable of so much more than I used to give it credit for and no one can take that away from me. Now all I really care about is out lifting all the boys and smashing some PRs.
